Painful childhood memories

My worst childhood memory would have to be when i was four years old. My mom had just married my step dad(who i hate with a passion),but i was asleep one night all of a sudden i heard screaming. Not just any screaming it was my mom screaming from being scared and from pain. That S.O.B was on top of her beating her with his fist. That was probally one of the worse memories of my childhood. I was four years old i couldnt do anything about it, because trust me if i could i would of. Now this went on for years and years, but eventually i called the cops on him but it didnt really matter because i moved down here about a year later and moved in with my aunt and unclr. But now i live my life not worrying about those days anymore that was the past and i try everything i can not to remeber it. Dont get me wrong i love my mom but i dont like her. How can i have respect for someone who dont have respect for themselves. Needless to say we dont have a good relationship anymore because she pretty much chose him over me.